Tag Archives: Results

Do Your Emails Ruin Your Relationships?

There are “about” 59,900,000 submissions regarding Email Etiquette on the internet, according to Google.

I suspect if you were quizzed about the proper etiquette for emails you would ace the test. That is, if you knew there was going to be quiz. However, every day the wonder of email is being abused. Feelings are hurt, people are misunderstood, and people are even being fired by email.

We see it all the time in politics, people publicly humiliated because some governmental committee has subpoenaed their emails. And there it is out in the open for everyone to see—how snarky and unprofessional the subpoenaed person is—all because of their emails.

And yet, we continue to use emails as a way to express ourselves without abandon. And email abuse continues on its merry way in our lives.

One of the times that our emails do not serve us is when we are angry. Say we have been sending emails to someone about something delicate. The money they owe you. And their only response has been silence. Often times we get angrier and angrier and so do our emails. Instead try this: pick up the telephone and call them—actually talk about the situation in real time. You may find out something has happened that prevented them from paying you. You may together find a solution that works for both of you if you talk it out.

There is something about being present, even on the telephone that can soothe hurt feelings and also give both parties an opportunity to work with each other instead of against each other.

If you think about it, world peace negotiations are done in person not via email. There is a reason for that. Face to face, person to person works. Granted you are not in disastrous situations but it may seem that way to you in your personal corner of the world. Imagine what you could work out with your staff, clients and colleagues, if you did the same thing—talk about the situation in person.

There is something about the personal touch that makes a huge difference with people. Please use it as much as you can. Think about this the next time you decide to write an angry email about some challenge or slight. It could make a huge difference in the quality of your business and personal relationships.

As always, I look forward to hearing from you about this topic. Your comments always enrich the conversation. Please write your comments below.

photo courtesy of Freedigitalphoto.net

How Well Does Accountability Play with Responsibility?

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Give someone responsibility and they will do their best. Make them accountable and they will do even better.

Simon Sinek

What happens when you add the ingredient of “accountability” to “responsibility”? Simon Sinek, author and visionary thinker, suggests that these two traits combined result in a better way to get results.

Many of us are confused about the distinction between accountability and responsibility. Let’s look at how they are defined first by Merriam -Webster and see how they differ and complement each other.

Responsibility: the state of being the person who caused something to happen: a duty or task that you are required or expected to do

Accountability: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions

At first glance they seem like similar terms, don’t they? They are different in the way that they are used in that responsibility points to something that you are required to do, whereas accountability points to accepting the task and saying, “You can count on me and hold me to account to complete the task.”

When you begin doing some critical thinking about it, you will be able to consider that there is a merging of the two definitions that make them stronger together. Consider that taking responsibility is accepting that you are required or expected to do something, whereas adding accountability is a willingness to take on a task and be “count-on-able” to get that task done.

Put into everyday language: responsibility means, “I will take the credit if it works and the blame if it doesn’t”—whereas accountability is, “It will work!”

In looking at your life, can you see that when you are responsible and accountable for your actions that you are stronger and in a powerful position? And when you have been only responsible that the tendency to be victimized by accepting a task occurs. However, when you accept responsibility and accountability, the victim disappears and who emerges is a confident person who can deliver what they say they will deliver.

I look forward to hearing from you about this conversation. Please comment below. Have a terrific week!

Are You Resisting Change?

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“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Legendary Basketball Coach, John Wooden

There you are looking at your results, knowing once again, clearly you failed. The results are there staring at you, pointing their fingers at the failure sign above your head. What do you do? Once you have determined that something in your approach has to change, do you make the change? Probably not. If you are like me, you most likely try the same thing again, hoping you will have a different result.

What is it about change that we resist so much? I did some research. Lisa Quast, in Forbes, summarized it succinctly:

Fear of the unknown/surprise
Mistrust
Loss of security/control
Bad timing
An individual’s predisposition

Bingo! If you have 3 out of 5 reasons residing in you, you resist change. So what are you going to do about it when you know that change is calling you?

I suggest that you do some work using the above 5 factors to be your guide. Set aside some time and grab some paper and begin to write down your answers.

Ask yourself:

What am I afraid of?
Am I surprised about the change required? And why?
Who do I not trust about making the change? And why?
What about this change makes me feel insecure and out of control?
How does the timing of the change affect me and my business?
How am I about change in general? Do I always resist change? Why is that?

Allow yourself time to reflect on the answers and you may be surprised by them. When you are honest with yourself, you can develop a strategy for the change that won’t be so jarring. You will feel in control, and you can plan the timing of the change. Who knows, you may even begin to like change.

I look forward to hearing your comments about this topic and what happened when you took a look at the change by answering the questions above.

Are You Using These Simple Questions to Bust Up Your Blocked Creativity?

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Does this ever happen to you? You have a great idea. You know it’s going to change the way you do business or live your life. You know it’s going to be great.

But—and this is a big BUT—you are stuck. How do I start? And how do I deliver on this great new idea? All of us have been there.

Well, here’s a tip to get you moving. Ask yourself these questions: What is my purpose? What are my three intentions in achieving my purpose? Write out your purpose and three intentions for the project. If you know both the purpose and intentions, the planning to execute it will come naturally.

Of course, you do have to do some critical thinking. It sounds easy at first, but at second glance maybe not so easy. The best way to go about it is to brainstorm the purpose. I doubt seriously if your first purpose is the one.

Here’s an actual example from one of my clients. She said to me that she was stuck in her email campaign for LinkedIn contacts. She didn’t know where to begin the email after “Dear”. She knew she wanted the contacts to know about a new program she had created; she wanted them to know how this program would enrich and enhance their lives, and she knew she wanted them to buy the program. But what could she say that would communicate what she wanted to say? The more she talked to me about it, the more upset and stuck she got. She was stuck in a loop of thinking about it, getting more upset (therefore even less able to think clearly) and thinking about it some more.

I suggested that she brainstorm with me about the purpose. She immediately said well, to make more money from having sales in the new program. Really? Is that the purpose or the end result? “Oh,” she said, “That would be the end result.” So, then let’s look at the purpose. Suddenly, it was as if the creative gates opened up. She said the purpose of the email was to introduce the new program to her list of leads, to tell them the about the availability and the benefits of the new program. That was it. That was the purpose. After landing on her clear purpose, the beginning of the email started to flow. The intentions were also clear. Her intentions were to build trust and relationship, to inform, and to create interest in her program. If she accomplished those three intentions it was a sure bet that they would contact her, and from there she would be able to enroll people in her program.

When you are stuck, please use this simple tip: Ask yourself “what is my purpose and what three intentions do I have?” You will find that this action will move you toward your goal with ease.

I look forward to reading your comments.

Improve Your Business Now

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Now that April is here there is a new energy and excitement in the air. Can you feel it? It’s the month for change. It brings Easter, with its remembrance of renewal and re-invention. In many parts of the world, it’s time for spring vacations and a respite from doing business or school for at least a couple of weeks.

It is also the end of the first quarter of the year. Those of us who are in business use April as the time to pay taxes and reflect on our 2013 business success and/or disappointments.

It is also time to look at where we are in both our business and the business of our lives. With the first quarter of the year behind us, we can forecast where we will be at the end of 2014. April can give us the time to review where we are and make decisions about adjustments to make to both our businesses and our lives.

Are you dreading making a first quarter review? I can get it. Often the facts we face are not those we thought we wanted. I urge you not to be scared. Use this time to re-invent, re-new, and start something new. Failure is not an option since all it does is point us to a new direction. It is with this review that you can make the changes needed to have a successful year end. The review will give you a blue print from where to go next with your business.

If you are reading this and think, well, I am not in business, then substitute the word “business” with the word “life”. It’s really not much of stretch to realize that our lives are our business.

Here are some questions that will give you insight about the state of your business.

Is your business standing up to its stated purpose, vision, and mission?

Is your business meeting its sales forecast?

Is your team clear about the results you want to achieve?

Are your products or services excellent and wowing your clients? If not, what has to change? By when?

Are your clients satisfied with your services? How do you know if they are?

If you look at the questions and discover what is missing, then add the missing pieces.

I look forward to hearing from you about the results from your first quarter review. As always, I am here for you and am your biggest fan.

Where Can I Buy Intention

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The Creative knows the great beginnings.
The Receptive completes the finished things.

~I Ching

“And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?”

~Pink Floyd

We have been discussing what it takes to get out of the box that our mind puts us in. It is that box that makes us feel safe and yet keeps us small. We discussed some of what it takes to operate beyond the limits of our box. This is predicated on the commitment to something bigger than we are, something that calls forth our re-invention of ourselves—in fact, what we are looking at is a commitment that demands that we re-invent ourselves.

Another correlated ingredient to great accomplishment is intention. Webster’s defines intention as: “a determination to act in a certain way”, but we are going to toughen it up a bit to read: “a relentless determination to achieve a certain goal or task—no matter what.”

Being intentional is a determination to act in a certain way. It is this intention that allows you to succeed despite all the challenges that would seem to indicate otherwise. It is intention that keeps you moving forward. It is intention that allows for brilliant actions that defy reality—your reality.

So, where is this intention, and where can you buy it?

Fortunately, we have intention at hand at all times. Reflect on your life. You can see, in hindsight
that you have been living an intentional life all along. You learned to walk,
dance, sing, talk, read, and ride a bike with your reserve of intention.
Unfortunately we are also very intentional about staying safely within the
walls of our box.

It is almost impossible to re-invent ourselves alone. Anything you do alone is inside the box. Great people don’t act alone. They may spend most of their time alone, but they have a world around them that is demanding they be great. How is this? They say what they are going to accomplish—before it is possible—and then they act. Specifically, they tell the people around them—but not just anybody—they tell people who will hold them to account for what they said they are going to do, people who won’t let them quit when the going gets tough. And it will get tough. That is what a coach is for.

In the comments below, please share an instance where your intentionality overcame the obstacle that you were facing. I look forward to hearing from you!

My goals are there for me to take action…

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“My goals are there for me to take action, and if I can stay somewhat unattached to the outcome I can deal with setbacks with more grace and ease, while inventing a new course of action.” Chris Henry, Fine Art

Last week, our focus was on making mistakes instead of New Year’s Resolutions ( http://susanjamescoach.com/new-years-resolution-hack-a-guide-to-making-them-work-out/ )

I hit a nerve. Readers know that there is more to making a resolution than just making it and hoping that it will work out. In fact, in a study by University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2 out of 3 people make resolutions, but only 8% of the people who make resolutions keep them.

Look at what Chris Henry says: “I like what you said about mistakes, and for me it’s always a question of how long will I let this issue or mistake stop me? As an artist it’s a prerequisite to doing good art. I need to make mistakes and create bad art before I can create good or great art.

“I know from experience that having a support structure: a coach, or a team of people to go to when things get difficult, allows for new ideas or courses of action that I may not see on my own. Thanks again Susan for your words of wisdom! Here’s to an awesome 2014!”

Here are the cogent points.

1. How long will I let this mistake stop me? The best practice is, first of all, to know that you will make mistakes and then set a limit on how long you will beat yourself up for making one. 5 minutes? One day? Your lifetime?

2. Know that making mistakes and correcting them leads to making something great. You might have to “pivot and switch” what you are doing. Really, if it works great by changing aren’t you happier?

3. Have a support structure: a coach, a team of experts, a person who is committed to your success. Trust them; ask them what they would do. Allow them to point out what you haven’t thought of on your own.

4. Try new things, know they might work out, or not. Your intention to succeed is more important than the mistakes you make. Most of our greatest inventions were the result of a mistake. Penicillin was a lab accident. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

I am looking forward to hearing from you regarding making mistakes and what you have learned!

art courtesy of Chris Henry, Fine Art http://chrishenryfineart.com

Are You Trying Too Hard?

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Have you ever really thought about the verb: to try? As in, have you tried that new restaurant? Or, I tried to finish the marathon. Or, I tried to make my business a success.

When I was young, every time I gave up on something—often after expending little effort towards reaching the goal—and told my father, “I tried,” he would respond, “Trying don’t count, its results that do.” – Tweet That! He never let me off the hook with the explanation, “I tried.” With him I was doomed to actually do the thing, rather than try.

So let’s look at this verb try, and see where you may be using it perhaps a little too much (at least by my father’s standard).

The verb ” try” is defined by Merriam-Webster:

: to make an effort to do something : to attempt to accomplish or complete something

: to do or use (something) in order to see if it works or will be successful

: to do or use (something) in order to find out if you like it

For the sake of this conversation, let’s just go with the first two definitions. Obviously, the third one “to do or use (something) in order to find out if you like it” is very useful with foods, haircuts, new clothes, a new boyfriend etc.

Seeing IF something works is entirely different from being committed to doing it. Attempting to accomplish or complete something takes less intention—and it’s far less uncomfortable—than actually doing it, no excuses allowed. Which is it going to be? “I’ll try.” Or, “It will happen.”

From what I know about people who are successful in business, they don’t try or attempt things. They do them. And that is exactly what my father trained me to do as a young person.

That is also what coaching is about. It’s a collaboration between the performer and the coach to be successful in the goal decided upon. It is not to attempt to be successful.

For those of you who wonder why I am writing this, you are probably not playing the “trying” game. And I would imagine your business is successful.

For those of you who find this blog thought provoking or if it gives you an AHA! moment. Congratulations! Now you can quit “trying” and produce some results.

I would love to hear from you about this topic. Please tell me what you thought about it in the comments below. I am looking forward to hearing from you.